Episode 24: Baby Come Back!

(to download this recording, click here)

Today’s topic in The Lovezone is about getting your ex back.  No, I don’t mean getting revenge; I mean getting them back into a relationship with you.  A few weeks ago we talked about how to get over your ex, but what if you don’t want to get over them?  What if you think your love deserves another chance? Hey, you never know what you have until it’s gone.  And sometimes that’s the wake-up call needed to take a relationship seriously.  But what do you do when it’s already over? 

Well I’ll tell you this much: timing is everything.  And individual cases will vary.  Especially when it comes to how you broke up.  If your ex caught you cheating with their best friend, or you gambled away their life savings, well you might want to wait awhile before trying to mend that bridge…if it can be mended at all. And that’s the thing, there’s no guarantee to this.  There are some people who don’t go back to what they left behind, and others who are always willing to give things another try.  If the break-up was relatively straightforward and civil, and the person doesn’t hate you, things just didn’t work out for some minor reason or the other…then maybe there’s a possibility for a love revival. 

So how will you know whether the water is warm or cold?  Dip a toe in.  Send a quick ‘hey how ya doin’?’ email or text.  Something friendly, upbeat and short.  If you get no response, or a response that pretty much says ‘get lost’.  Then leave it alone.  Maybe it’s too soon to reach out, or they’ve moved on, and you’ll have to do the same.  But if you get a positive reply, and they seem open to conversation, then you can step it up a notch.  Send a longer email, or see if you can talk to them on the phone.  But this is where you need to be clear with your intentions.  Lay it all out, say that you are interested in rekindling the relationship, and list the reasons why.  If there is an apology to be made or promises to be pledged, now is the time.  But don’t beg or sound desperate.  And if you are desperate, then I advise you to not even try to get back with your ex; the worst thing you could do is to start a relationship from a position of desperation.  It will not work. 

Make sure you’re approaching this from a healthy and mature standpoint. Don’t try to get back with your ex just because you’re not comfortable with being single…you know them, they know you, so why bother finding somebody new?  Don’t do that.  If you broke up, it was for a reason, and if that issue doesn’t get addressed, it will rear its ugly head again.  So you really have to be sure that you’re going into this with the intent of doing better than the last time around. If you really think that you are good for them, and they are good for you, go for it. Good luck!

Love,

Geena

Baby Come Back!
(to download, click here)

Raphael Saadiq - I Want You Back ft. Teedra Moses
Charlie Wilson - Shawty Come Back
Ryan Leslie - How It Was Supposed To Be
Trey Songz - Love Lost
Raheem DeVaughan - Try Again
Darien Brockington - Can We Fall In Love Again
Kelly Price - You Complete Me ft. Daron Jones of 112
Algebra - Come Back
Jill Scott - The Fact Is (I Need You)
Raheem DeVaughan - Can We Try Again? (interlude)
Toni Braxton - Un-Break My Heart
Boyz II Men - On Bended Knee
Janet Jackson - Come Back To Me
Daft Punk - Something About Us
Player - Baby Come Back
Zo! - My Flame ft. Phonte
Hil St. Soul - Until You Come Back To Me
The Emotions - Take Me Back
The Manhattans - There's No Me Without You
Teddy Pendergrass - I Can't Live Without Your Love
Linda Lewis - This Time I'll Be Sweeter

----------------------------------
Geena Lee
Lovesoul Studio
Toronto, Canada